No room for doubt

You wrote:

tired and not a little bit frightened at becoming obsolete.

I think the tiredness comes with age. Boy there are sometimes when I can barely get out of bed in the afternoon :-)

Still, unless you are losing brain cells at an accelerated rate I wouldn't worry too much as you are a long way ahead of the pack. See how many digits of pi you can remember today.

I have gone 46 years not really thinking about having a "dependent."

This is a bridge I have yet to cross in terms of parents, but I am delighted to have a daughter, in fact "delighted" is nowhere near the mark. I guess for parents one does what one can in this situation, as for money, you can't take it with ya.

... I am simply afraid to know the truth for fear that it doesn't align with my accepted notion of it."

and

But I suspect I'm not that much different from most people, if they were to be honest.

Me too - but we'd be excommunicated for saying so. It doesn't fit well with evangelizing The Lord does it? There you believe 100%. No room for doubt. This is my problem with the established Church.