My Frustration Found Its Voice

And a somewhat shameful episode it was. In a Sunday school session today we were studying portions of Francois Fenelon's "A Will No Longer Divided."

Note: Franciois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon lived from 1651 to 1715, and was prominent in the court of King Louis the XIV. That is, until he was banished by the King and denounced by the Pope for his support of a reform movement that sought to fix some of the ills of the Catholic church of that time.

The thrust of the "A Will No Longer Divided" work is that true joy can be achieved by submitting oneself completely to the will of God; saving no element of one's own will.

Nice words ... can it be accomplished?

My frustration bubbled up because I asked that very question. I wondered aloud why it was that I'd never met anyone who even approximated a full surrendered person, let alone one who had actually accomplished it. Did such people really exist? Or was Felenon's point merely a lofty target to which one aspired, but never really approached? The conversation thereafter quickly devolved into snippets about daily exercises in faith and things like that.

Okay, fine ... I get the point about walking before running and all that. But that's not really my point. My point was really this: with so few people that mature available, how is someone new to the path can possible learn the way? It was an autobiographical question.

I am weary to the point of anger at the display of contemporary "Christianity" I see in most churches today. You've experienced a bit of that yourself, I think -- the "social club" sense you got from the church you attended. Or I see the chest-thumping triumphalism of some American evangelical churches. Or the watery "spiritualism" of others.

In other words, the type of Christianity I see called for in the page of Scripture is nowhere to be found -- people committed to Christ, humble in that role as a saved sinner, but drawing strength from Christ himself. The idea of "completely surrendering my will" to God only makes sense within the framework of a Christ-centered (and all that implies) church fellowship.

My problem is this -- I can't find that anwhere! And because of that, I am like a thirsty man in the desert (pardon the pun, given my present living locale) -- my heart is crying out a place to come to know a sense of true commitment to Christ. What does a truly committed man look like? How can I emulate them? Where are they?

So the tone and tenor of my comments and questions today was strong -- strong not in personal anger per se, but strong in frustration that my walk of faith is stalled; unable to move because there appears nobody from which I can draw guidance and counsel.

I feel terrible for having come across so strongly. I need to supress such things.

I suspect I'm not alone in this. My cousin speaks of something akin to this. And I've met more than a few intelligent men, seeking God, who are stifled by the utterly uncompelling nature of contemporary "Christianity."

Note: a best-selling book in America right now is called "Your Best Life Now." It's written by the pastor of 30,000-member strong "mega-church" in Houston. It's pure drivel -- watered down Christian sentiments about "love" and "joy" derived through simply wishing to be loving and joyful. Jesus plays little to no role in this -- it's all about the person, not God himself. I can see why that church is 30,000 strong ... Oprah Winfrey has millions of viewers for the same reason -- it's easily-digestible sugar air puffs, nothing more.

Perhaps there's a lesson deep within all this ... about trust and patience. Perhaps. The question that burns in my heart is this ... is there the possibility of me backsliding right away from Christ while I wait? Please, Lord ... no.