Sybase

I think that the cause of this is fundamentally due to the mysterious way that God moves in.

Indeed. Which itself is a bit of a mystery. Why? The Bible says that in the beginning God did "walk with" man. Presumably that means made Himself far more evident to them. They opted to separate themselves from God, and I guess that meant He made himself mysterious. Even the burning bush Moses experienced was somewhat mysterious ... a physical "miracle" of a combustible material failing to be consumed by fire, from which God "spoke" (whatever form that really took) to Moses.

Even in Jesus, who we are to believe was the human manifestation of God himself, spoke and behaved in mysterious ways. There are times I find I can't fault the Pharisees and other doubters of Jesus' day. Even his disciples had to say, "We can't understand what you're saying ... please speak more plainly."

I'm sure there's an explanation for this. I just don't know what it would be.

* * *
I cared deeply for her. But I could do nothing about it

So why didn't you and Kim get together then?

Because I was married at the time. I had a strong sense of duty to the commitment made to my wife, if not any real "love" for her. She was and is a fine person, and I never hated or disliked her; I just didn't love her. We didn't get divorced until five years later, and by then Kim was out of the picture. I moved to North Carolina in 1984 and I lost contact with her in May of 1985. She was right to disassociate herself from me ... she had a life to get on with, and I gave no clear signal that I would break my vows to be with her. Truth is, I was tormented by the dilemma I found myself in. By the time I was divorced in 1989, Kim was (I came to understand, through some informal grapevines) married and with children.

She was lovely ... 5'10" tall, athletic, of Lithuanian decent with bright blonde hair and brown eyes. But more important than the physical appearance was the way the two of us could sit and talk about all sorts of things for hours on end. There was no question I was in love with her; there was no question she felt the same way. But due to a commitment I'd made earlier, and a sense of duty to that commitment, there was then a barrier between us.

My heart literally ached.

I vividly recall the day my wife and I drove out of Michigan on our way to North Carolina to start our new life. We had two cars at the time; she drove one and I drove the other. As we departed East Lansing, Michigan we came to the point where if I turned south I'd head for NC and away from Kim; if I turned north I could go to Kim but of course destroy my wife. With tears in my eyes I turned south.

* * *
I often wonder what I missed

Crab legs? :)

LOL! Yes!