Seethe

"Seethe" -- I like that word. It sounds like what it means.

That seething resentment is exactly how a child feels as it is taught to "treat others as it wishes to be treated" - and this is to be expected. The Golden Rule goes against the natural propensity of a race borne out of natural selection which wants to get one up on it's fellow man. The Golden Rule needs to be taught to us when we are young and it's a painful lesson to learn.

I have no disagreement with this whatever.

But for the Christian, who understands that Jesus was after a transformed heart, is it proper to seethe inside and not at least want to correct that? I would argue the desire to do what Christ would want of us should be present. Absent that -- or, put another way, if seething inside is seen as perfectly acceptable -- I would question exactly how well one really knows Jesus.

I think Children understand this better than we may think they do. I agree that teaching them the Golden Rule is critical and painful. But I'll bet somewhere in their minds they know that there's a odd disconnect going on when they act nicey-nice but feel hateful inside. Would you say that's true?

I've been thinking alot about obedience to Jesus and a kind of hierarchy of submission. It is this: strive first to control the things that are obvious and outward -- what I say, how I act. Then, when that develops into a habit, focus on the internal things: what I'm thinking about others. Only then try to tackle the big ones -- pride, envy, etc.

I think this is Biblically supported. James, I think, writes of curbing one's tongue first and foremost. The Proverbs do as well. That makes some sense. We all can control what we say ... saying hateful and spiteful things is always a deliberate act. Thinking hateful and spiteful things is something different.

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I cannot change them, I can only change myself. By avoiding them I don't make enemies, but then Churchill would say I am not standing up for something. But some things are more equal than others in the "worth standing up for" stakes - wouldn't you agree?

Oh, absolutely. One of my number one rules of marriage is this: come to an understanding about what's really important, and stand on those principles. But do not make everything a principled stand. My number one rule is this: I will not accept one set of rules that applies to me, but does not apply to her. After that, pretty much everything boils down to the trivial.

The same holds for me at work -- I raise problems to management only rarely. But I've found that when I do raise the flag, they respond. Choosing one's battles is important. I'm sure Churchill would have agreed with that. There's a subtle distinction in Churchill's quote: someone with no enemies has no principles; but someone who has no allies is picking too many fights.

You can quote me on that. :-)