"The Queen"

Last night we watched the movie "The Queen," starring Helen Mirren. It was one of those quiet, understated movies, so I was inclined to watch it and like it. I was left with an odd sense of sadness over the portrayal of the Royal Family and, particularly the Queen. Thankfully the movie set about correcting the overly critical portrayal early in the movie and in the end gave the Queen back some dignity and grace.

I am, as you know, politically "conservative." That does not necessarily mean "Republican" and it does not necessarily mean I align with specific policies. The term is difficult to define precisely, but the root of the word is "conserve" ... that is, the preservation of tradition and what has historically been good. "Progressives" seek, to my eye, to change for the sake of change, even when what is being changed is working quite well. There is, of course, opportunity for enormous debate within all that.

Anyway, the point being ... the British Monarchy represents a link to the past; an embodiment of tradition. To that end I have a soft spot in my heart for it. Much of that soft spot is due to Elizabeth II, who I think has been wonderfully dignified for decades.

I'm not so sure the Monarchy can long survive her passing, though. Perhaps, but I'm not certain of it.

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So E is coming to live with you too? Was that something you asked for, or something you accepted after having been asked to do it? What in the world would be the motivation in A's heart to allow this ... removal of a "burden" from her? Or is it possible she was thinking of E's best interest?

I can't believe the audacity of A to expect and demand a continuance of "child support" payments when in fact she's no longer supporting the children. On the surface I would think you'd have a good case for discontinuance, but at the same time I agree that it would be dicey ... some feminist judge who hates men could easily dictate otherwise. The old saying, "Don't rock the boat" may well apply here.

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You know me well. Your list of things you figure would be my "formative events" was nearly spot on ... in fact, you had things on there I'd overlooked.

Counselors in the past have urged me to "forgive" the transgressions. I've thought a lot about that over the years. I'm not so sure my focus is on the events of the past themselves, but rather the effects of those things on me now. (I'm sure counselors would say, "Work on forgiveness first, and then you can work on transformation of your current self." I know the game.)

I am, like most I think, a bundle of neurosis. Yes, I have been "successful." But the turmoil in my heart is taking a toll. I feel like a 50 watt bulb trying very hard to burn at 100 watts. I doubt my ability to accomplish that, and when I do accomplish it I feel I did so poorly and will not be able to repeat. Appeals to my rational brain do not work. This is something operating at a level different from that. My rational brain can clearly see the inconsistency of the thinking. My emotional brain (if indeed that's where this all is operating) can not, or does not, listen to rational arguments.

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And the fact that you have mentioned it (even if only in passing) helps me a great deal - it's a warning to not cut off when I am stressed, but instead to engage with my children.

Wonderful. What is it they say ... "God is able to work good from bad things," or something to that effect.

I firmly believe children look to adults (and parents in particular) to offer insights into coping with the difficulties that surround us. Children are learning machines ... they observe and take in all that is around them. Your daughter and her half-sister have endured much ... more than two little girls should have had to. From what I can gather, you are about the only sensible person in their worlds.

Heck ... can I come live with you too? :-)

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The meeting in POK last week was interesting from an observational point of view. The room was filled with some big name people from our employer. Two DE's and a host of other higher-ups. It was good to just observe ... to see how their mind works, and to see how to formulate and offer their advice. It wasn't nearly as crisp and authoritative as I'd imagined. Clearly, though, they were operating from a deep well of technical insights.

There is no chance whatever that I am qualified to be a DE, nor do I want it.

Heck, acquiring Band 10 has stirred up in me all manner of issues, mostly having to do with a heightened sense of new responsibilities that I fear I can't perform. (See my earlier comment about 50W vs. 100W.) Why I'd aspire to more still is beyond me.

My ascent has reached its apogee. :-)

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Your string of "good luck" on your recent trip used up a good portion of your stored karma. Watch out. :-)

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Went out for a 200 mile ride on the Goldwing yesterday. I was feeling fatigued and I couldn't figure out why. I hit the "Info" button which provides a readout of the current air temperature. I figured out why I was tired ... 102 degrees F. It was a hot one yesterday. I think I was mildly dehydrated.

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My "SOA" presentations on Techdocs has been hit over 600 times in two months. How many were downloads I do not know. But the second month's total was 400 ... and that's a high number compared to other papers. I wonder if that stuff is finding an audience?

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I am off to Minneapolis to teach, then to Detroit where I'll meet up with my friend from Michigan. We'll drive to Canada to open my cottage for the year. I "go dark" from this and other work stuff starting this Thursday through the following Wednesday.