You know what my real problem is ... what really has me down? I'm scared. Scared to death. I can't keep up anymore. Yet I work in an area where I'm supposed to be an "expert." People come to me expecting me to know everything about everything. I am saying "I don't know" with increasing frequency lately. There will come a point in the not too distant future where people will simply stop bothering asking me anything, for it's perfectly obvious I don't have a clue.
My dream is to know enough about something so I can be truly helpful to other people. I had that for a few years. But now things are advancing faster than I can comprehend. I think I get the "big picture," but I can't possibly grasp all the details. Take SOA/ESB ... the strategy I get. How to get WID to create a workflow to drive a non-SOAP service on Broker using SIBs I don't get. And even if I spent two weeks getting it figured out, that one thing is merely spit in the wide ocean of things.
Want me to get even more fundamental than that? Here it is -- I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm stumbling along doing what I think is right, but I have no idea if it is. I'm told to "Help drive revenue and increase customer satisfaction!" But how does that translate to what I should be doing this week? Or for the next few months? I don't know. I'm not sure many people do know. Which is why, I think, we operate in such a reactive manner.
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