Intent

I'm not so sure I agree with your position on "intent." The example you provided -- the person on a business trip who intended to be faithful to his wife but ended up not being faithful -- is really a failure of intent. Or, it makes me wonder if they really had the intent to begin with.

I believe what Dallas Willard is getting at with the inclusion of the word "intent" in his definition of love is akin to what Jesus was getting to in Matthew 5:46-47:

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? (Matthew 5:46-47, NIV)

Loving those who love you is a non-intentional, reflexive thing. Loving those who hate you is hard. It doesn't come naturally. It certainly requires intent. I can't do it ... not yet, anyway.

My point -- and I believe Willard's as well -- is this: it's possible for me to by chance act for the good of another. But it's a dicey game. Better to deliberately consider the commitment and perform intentionally than to not and hope things work out okay. Too many marriages today fail, I believe, because people go into them and operate within them without the clear intent to work to make it successful. I speak from some experience -- 8 years ago now I had to work very hard -- intentionally and deliberately -- to keep the marriage afloat. I'm thankful I did. It taught me the value of intentionality.

Is that a word? :-)

Incentivize! :-)